33 - The Jesus Year

My mom was born on the 5th of July 1969. She died at age 33, on the 12th of June 2003. I’m turning 33 this year...it definitely feels like a significant milestone of sorts. 

I’m in awe when I think about the life my mom had lived at this young age; a divorced single mother of two daughters who’d worked hard and pushed against so many odds to give her children a better shot at life than she had had. My mom was a pioneer, she was courageous, and held her own in a man’s world (my sister calls her "a feminist who was ahead of her time") but what I remember most is her kindness and how her life benefited and made an impact on so many people's lives, especially her family.

I miss her so much my heart aches. Yes, I’ve healed and made peace with her departure from this world, but the reality of her absence in my life will always sting. Most of the time I have happy thoughts and memories of her. But around certain times of the year like Mother’s Day, Christmas, significant celebrations, and her death anniversary, I miss her more than words could express, and it hurts. Death is something you can never get used to – which makes sense since we were originally created to be eternal – and death just feels so unnatural. Our souls and spirits testify to that. 

Anyway, back to my mother, what a woman! She truly lived a full life at 33. So, naturally, at this stage of my life (just 3 months from 33) I’m taking stock against the backdrop of my mom’s life. Warranted we’ve lived in two different generations, but I do feel like her generation lived life more boldly and had more gumption than our generation. It’s as if failure and fear of man wasn’t a deterrent for them, and if they wanted something (or someone😀) they went after it with everything they had and couldn’t care less what anyone else thought. I admire their determination, resilience, and resourcefulness.

So today is one of those days where I’m pondering the meaning of my life and what the heck I’m actually doing with it! I don’t have a career, a house, a car, a husband, a child, a cat, or a dog! Nothing! Nada! Zilch! And this list isn’t even half of it...LOL...Sadly these are the kind of things we’ve come to measure the success of our lives against. But as of late, I’m realising that success is relative, and each person should have their own measure. According to the Oxford Dictionary, success is “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose”. There you have it, you must first know your purpose, and then you will know how successful you are in accomplishing it. I hope that definition set a lot of people as free as it did me.

I will admit, though, for a long time after my mother’s death I’ve had this fear that I might also die young and often doubted that I’d reach 33 years old. But I no longer have that fear. I now have a positive and confident expectation for this year and for the future...I don’t know how to describe it; it just feels special. Like a very significant turnaround. Like anything can happen, but in a good way. So, despite sometimes feeling unsure about the direction of my life, I know that God’s got me and that I can stop holding my breath because things will actually be okay. I believe I’m finally moving in purpose again. And I feel like I’m accomplishing, even if in minuscule fragments, my purpose on this earth. 

If we are to truly live purposeful lives, it’s imperative that we stop waiting for people to affirm or approve of us and our life decisions. Only you and God know what you are called to do on this earth. Stop measuring yourself against others. Your success will not look like your friends' success. You should rather ask yourself, “Does the checklist of my success match the requirements of my purpose?”

As I look back on my mom’s life, I choose to stop comparing and measuring myself against her. There might be many similarities and common threads that run through our purposes but mine is unique and shouldn’t stand in anyone’s shadow. Yes, there are ventures she started that I must continue, batons she passed to me that I must take forward and run with. There are good examples and characteristics she modeled that I could learn and borrow from, but my life, and its ultimate success, is compelled to stand on its own two feet. 

This year, in my 33rd year on earth, I choose to own my journey, my purpose, my destiny, against all odds. Apparently, Jesus was 33 years old when he was crucified and chose to give His life for you and me to be redeemed. Hence the term “Jesus Year” was coined. The Urban Dictionary and popular culture describe this Jesus year as a year of rebirth and great change.

The biggest and most impactful thing that Jesus did with His life happened at 33. What a significant point in His mission and purpose, and it was all about people (you and me), not Himself. May we remember that loving God and loving people is the greatest commandment that Jesus gave us. And His last words, the Great Commission, to “go and make disciples of all nations” is a calling and purpose we all share, although the “way” in which we “go” will look different for each person.

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first the Kingdom of God (above all else) and all these things will be added unto you”. Yes, we need earthly blessings or “things”, but we have a much bigger and more urgent purpose that we really need to pursue. Psalms 127a says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it.” Our lives and purpose can be likened to this “house”. Is the Lord building your house or are you labouring in vain?

I’m so grateful that I received this revelation that has silenced all the anxieties that come with turning 30 and beyond. I’m now at peace with having my own definition of success which is linked to my God-given purpose. As I approach 33, I walk tall and confident that my Jesus Year will definitely be one to remember.