Yummy Stranger in My Bed
I unlock my apartment door and step outside, and breathe in
the cool morning air with him right behind me. The “yummy stranger” I made out
with in front of a cheering audience at “the spot” on Sunday night. Yes, I did eventually
text him a few days ago, but didn’t expect to see him last night, let alone get
freaky with him at my pastor’s house. Yes, I live with my pastors! (Hand on
face emoji)
I moved in about six months ago when I came back to work in
Durban after I had been home in Sheppie for two months, recovering from a nervous breakdown that landed me in hospital. So when I was looking for a place
to stay and found that their tenant of seven years was moving out, it seemed
like the perfect place to live in peace and spiritual bliss while I try to
piece my life together again. My pastors have been like parents to me for over
eight years now, even accommodating me for free in their house for a few months
when I was “figuring my life out” after dropping out of varsity some years ago.
So here I am, sneaking a boy out of my basement apartment in
the early hours of the morning, hoping no one sees or hears evidence of my wild
night. As we’re about to walk up the steps right outside my pastors’ bedroom
window, dear Rocky, their big, vicious-looking dog comes out of nowhere and
barks his lungs out in lieu of my strange companion, I assume. I instantly froze
on the spot and almost wet my pyjama shorts from fear of being caught
red-handed.
Now I know you’re thinking, “But you’re old enough to do
whatever you want, aren’t you?” Yes, I’m almost freakin’ 30, but I do have a
church-girl reputation to live up to. Especially living on the same property as
my spiritual parents and senior pastors of the church, where I’ve been
personally serving as a leader since University. It’s like your boss
catching you having sex with a colleague in your office, only slightly worse
because I have to go to church on Sunday and sit in the congregation, listening
to my pastor preach and pretend that all is well with the world. All my church
people said, “Amen!”
So homeboy freaks out at the merciless, raucous-causing
beast, and his eyes are almost bulging out of their sockets from panic. I
miraculously manage to calm him and the dog down and escape out of the gate
seconds before my pastor opens the door to see the horrendous sight…I hope.
Safe to say I’m never doing something that crazy and stupid ever again. As much
as I’m all for adventure, some waters just shouldn’t be tested.
Besides, the “yummy stranger in my bed” experience didn’t
live up to my expectations in many ways, and the night, nice enough as it was, definitely isn’t worth repeating.
You are such a good storyteller
ReplyDeleteLol...thank you so much (making me blush)
Delete😂😂😂 Oh Nano
ReplyDelete"definitely isn’t worth repeating"
ReplyDeleteThis line killed me😂😂😂😂😂😂💣💣💣💣💣💣.
You are an amazing writer .
😂😂😂ngiyabonga
Delete