Yummy Stranger in My Bed


I unlock my apartment door and step outside, and breathe in the cool morning air with him right behind me. The “yummy stranger” I made out with in front of a cheering audience at “the spot” on Sunday night. Yes, I did eventually text him a few days ago, but didn’t expect to see him last night, let alone get freaky with him at my pastor’s house. Yes, I live with my pastors! (Hand on face emoji)

I moved in about six months ago when I came back to work in Durban after I had been home in Sheppie for two months, recovering from a nervous breakdown that landed me in hospital. So when I was looking for a place to stay and found that their tenant of seven years was moving out, it seemed like the perfect place to live in peace and spiritual bliss while I try to piece my life together again. My pastors have been like parents to me for over eight years now, even accommodating me for free in their house for a few months when I was “figuring my life out” after dropping out of varsity some years ago.

So here I am, sneaking a boy out of my basement apartment in the early hours of the morning, hoping no one sees or hears evidence of my wild night. As we’re about to walk up the steps right outside my pastors’ bedroom window, dear Rocky, their big, vicious-looking dog comes out of nowhere and barks his lungs out in lieu of my strange companion, I assume. I instantly froze on the spot and almost wet my pyjama shorts from fear of being caught red-handed.

Now I know you’re thinking, “But you’re old enough to do whatever you want, aren’t you?” Yes, I’m almost freakin’ 30, but I do have a church-girl reputation to live up to. Especially living on the same property as my spiritual parents and senior pastors of the church, where I’ve been personally serving as a leader since University. It’s like your boss catching you having sex with a colleague in your office, only slightly worse because I have to go to church on Sunday and sit in the congregation, listening to my pastor preach and pretend that all is well with the world. All my church people said, “Amen!”

So homeboy freaks out at the merciless, raucous-causing beast, and his eyes are almost bulging out of their sockets from panic. I miraculously manage to calm him and the dog down and escape out of the gate seconds before my pastor opens the door to see the horrendous sight…I hope. Safe to say I’m never doing something that crazy and stupid ever again. As much as I’m all for adventure, some waters just shouldn’t be tested.

Besides, the “yummy stranger in my bed” experience didn’t live up to my expectations in many ways, and the night, nice enough as it was, definitely isn’t worth repeating.

Comments

  1. You are such a good storyteller

    ReplyDelete
  2. "definitely isn’t worth repeating"
    This line killed me😂😂😂😂😂😂💣💣💣💣💣💣.

    You are an amazing writer .

    ReplyDelete

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