Reflections by Nano

So let's take a break from the serious stuff and laugh a little. Apparently I'm too trusting of strangers and people in general. Some may even call me naive.😅 Due to this "innocence" of mine, I've been "swindled" and mugged more times than I can recall. Those stories will make for a good laugh one day, but the particular incident I was reflecting on today was one that took place in 2012. It was a Sunday morning and I was walking in town, about to take a taxi to church. I was attending church on Westville campus (UKZN) at the time. About 10 steps away from my taxi I get stopped by a young man with tattoos all over his arms; I can't recall what he said to stop me, but we started chatting. He told me that he just came out of prison and that he wants to turn his life around but he's struggling to find a job etc. Now, being a young Christian who was on fire for the Lord, I immediately thought, "this can't be a coincidence, this is God sendin...

So I understand that this blog post might not be as popular as the ones with sordid details of my dismal love life, but it's a MUST that I share this! I hope it encourages someone. I've had an incredible start to 2022; I couldn't be happier and more grateful. I'm experiencing God's grace in such a sweet way, I literally think the word "sweet" describes this current season perfectly. There have been a lot of changes (all good) that have taken place in my life over the past few months. As much as I had a great year last year, and the year before that, I always knew that something was missing; I was living my best life, yet my soul wasn't completely satisfied. And I've been a church girl for a long time now, so I know that when my personal relationship with God is rocky, I live an incredibly carnal life, finding pleasure in "boys and booze" as I've jokingly mentioned in a previous blog post. So when this year began, and as I was takin...

Popular culture brainwashes us into living unauthentic lives for the sake of being cool or being accepted by people who couldn’t care less about us. I’d like to offer a different narrative. Where the world encourages destructive behaviours and attitudes such as “be cool, or act cool”, “pretend you don’t care” or “tone down your excitement”, I’d like to propose that this kind of thinking is what destroys authenticity. We trade in honesty for likes. We give up our truth to gain a false sense of respect and affirmation from people who don’t even know the real you. The world or popular culture will have you sacrificing your soul for fake validation and meaningless attention. We’ve become so accustomed to portraying a cool or “acceptable” version of ourselves that many of us don’t know or appreciate our true selves. We’ve become casualties of destructive societal norms. After coincidentally having a few conversations relating to authenticity and pretentiousness, I reflected on the be...

 I’m turning 32 tomorrow! And I’m soooo excited for this next chapter of my life. In my blog description I write that, “I’m a woman who’s hoping to find love and stability as I enter my thirties…” Well, I’m proud to say that I’ve found it. 😊 I’ve found love and stability within myself. At the beginning of this journey, and for most of my life, I was looking outwardly for these things. While looking in all the wrong places, I found a lot of wrong things, wrong people, wrong habits. I found a lot that didn’t serve me. As soon as I started looking within, the answers started coming, the healing started coming, courage and hope filled my heart and life. As soon as I began to celebrate the good in me and the good around me, more blessings and joy came my way. Now, there’s a lot that I still want out of life, there’s so much I still want to do and accomplish; I feel like I’ve hardly begun living, yet I’ve lived such a full life already. And I’m really excited for the future! But ...

Letting go is a HARD thing to do. We say we really want to, but when the rubber hits the road, our desire to leave the past behind us and move forward is usually found wanting. I think we become so accustomed to our pain and suffering that we are terrified of embracing the foreign and unknown future; although it promises unthinkable peace, joy, freedom. I’m learning that in order to move forward and become the ME that God has created me to be, I need to shake off some things. Some of these things are experiences that have happened to me through no fault of my own, but some are my own mistakes and stupid actions. But whether I was at fault or not, these experiences have caused a sense of shame and self-preservation that has held me back from living fully and boldly. Some of the struggles and shortcomings we encounter as adults are usually linked to some deeply entrenched fears from our childhoods. I have some specific, vivid memories that have held me prisoner for so long and gnaw...

Have you ever felt like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing?! And you’re just winging this life thing; winging work, winging relationships…? That’s me every day! I feel like LIFE is this riddle that everyone else has figured out, and I just can’t seem to crack it. 31 years later, and I’m still desperately trying to make ANY sense of it. I’ve always struggled with insecurity and inferiority. I’ve always questioned if I actually “belonged” anywhere. Feeling like an outsider, second best, an inconvenience, a burden, not being enough…that’s been me most of my life. This scarcity mentality has become so entrenched in my mind, I will 9 times out of 10 self-sabotage when things are going well for me. Deep down inside, I believe I don’t deserve good things, and this inferiority complex has ravaged so many parts of my life. I think a lot of this negative thinking emanated mostly from my shit-show of a “father experience”. If you haven’t read my blog posts about my Dads (yes, plural)...

Through the testimony of my life, I want to change the narrative that women don’t support each other, and that we are always the first to pull a fellow sister down or sabotage another woman’s success. That CANNOT be our story! Yes, the abovementioned scenarios do exist, and one woman sabotaged by another woman is one too many. But there IS another reality! I’ve seen women make unimaginable sacrifices for the upliftment and wellbeing of another woman or girl child. I’ve seen women support each other without envy, women celebrating one another in heartfelt ways that will humble you, women praying fervently for their fellow sister’s wellbeing and success. I’ve seen women who dare to change the status quo and the environment and narrative around them. This type of secure, confident, and compassionate woman exists in every one of us. But we must fiercely fight daily to free her and let her reign in power and love; that she may shape the world around her. I’ve encountered many such women who...