Reflections by Nano

Letting go is a HARD thing to do. We say we really want to, but when the rubber hits the road, our desire to leave the past behind us and move forward is usually found wanting. I think we become so accustomed to our pain and suffering that we are terrified of embracing the foreign and unknown future; although it promises unthinkable peace, joy, freedom. I’m learning that in order to move forward and become the ME that God has created me to be, I need to shake off some things. Some of these things are experiences that have happened to me through no fault of my own, but some are my own mistakes and stupid actions. But whether I was at fault or not, these experiences have caused a sense of shame and self-preservation that has held me back from living fully and boldly. Some of the struggles and shortcomings we encounter as adults are usually linked to some deeply entrenched fears from our childhoods. I have some specific, vivid memories that have held me prisoner for so long and gnaw...

Have you ever felt like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing?! And you’re just winging this life thing; winging work, winging relationships…? That’s me every day! I feel like LIFE is this riddle that everyone else has figured out, and I just can’t seem to crack it. 31 years later, and I’m still desperately trying to make ANY sense of it. I’ve always struggled with insecurity and inferiority. I’ve always questioned if I actually “belonged” anywhere. Feeling like an outsider, second best, an inconvenience, a burden, not being enough…that’s been me most of my life. This scarcity mentality has become so entrenched in my mind, I will 9 times out of 10 self-sabotage when things are going well for me. Deep down inside, I believe I don’t deserve good things, and this inferiority complex has ravaged so many parts of my life. I think a lot of this negative thinking emanated mostly from my shit-show of a “father experience”. If you haven’t read my blog posts about my Dads (yes, plural)...

Through the testimony of my life, I want to change the narrative that women don’t support each other, and that we are always the first to pull a fellow sister down or sabotage another woman’s success. That CANNOT be our story! Yes, the abovementioned scenarios do exist, and one woman sabotaged by another woman is one too many. But there IS another reality! I’ve seen women make unimaginable sacrifices for the upliftment and wellbeing of another woman or girl child. I’ve seen women support each other without envy, women celebrating one another in heartfelt ways that will humble you, women praying fervently for their fellow sister’s wellbeing and success. I’ve seen women who dare to change the status quo and the environment and narrative around them. This type of secure, confident, and compassionate woman exists in every one of us. But we must fiercely fight daily to free her and let her reign in power and love; that she may shape the world around her. I’ve encountered many such women who...