Reflections by Nano

So I'm still alive...🙃 After the trauma and perpetual anxiety of the past three weeks, I'm a firm believer in "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". I made it through my dad's funeral, which surprisingly came with much pain, although we weren't close at all. I guess loss is always traumatic in one way or another. Maybe I was grieving the lost opportunity of a father-daughter relationship, the memories we could've created but never did. And now that chance is gone forever. The tragedies of life... Like a seed dying and going into the ground in order to produce fruit, what my father failed to do in life, he did in death. Sadly, his passing away is what brought me and his family together. I've gained an amazing and loving family. There's so many of them, they're like a whole nation of abaThembu and I haven't even met half of them... After my bitter-sweet long weekend burying my dad, I got back to Durban feeling like a br...

Apparently “Mr M” (Mthembu) died this morning…If you haven’t read my last blog post, Mthembu was my biological father. We had a complicated relationship after finding out he was my real dad at 18 years’ old, after having grieved for my “fake” dad who had died a few years prior. (If you're confused, you're in good company). Ever feel like your life is a movie being watched by that invisible audience you hear in sitcoms? Heck, I need a drink… (screw you Bheki Cele and Coronavirus). Now I must write down my emotions and deal with them instead of drinking them away…lol I’ve been angry at Mthembu for years, for a lot of reasons…and now just like that, the object of my prolonged anger just vanished. And I’m left here, sitting with a pile of useless emotions, unanswered questions, words unsaid, wounds unhealed… Life is so weird, isn’t it? How you can hate someone and desperately want them to love you all at the same time. How we act nonchalant in front of them while you s...